best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
