Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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