a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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