he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
