Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize