And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
