I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
