Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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