Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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