We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
