Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
