His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
