Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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