Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
