Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
