Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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