I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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