My nipple is on Facebook.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
