I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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