In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize