i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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