32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
