But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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