Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
