if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize