so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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