so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
