What a fucking waste of an outfit
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
