I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
