Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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