pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
