bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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