But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize