"it" just moved
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
