Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
