Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
