I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
