Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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