You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My penis needs a shock collar
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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