Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
