Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
