In the future we'll all be gay
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
