just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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