shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
