my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
