My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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