k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
