its not stalking. its research.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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