i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
