i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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