Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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