ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
