ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
