Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
