Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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