found the other keg... it's in the tree
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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