why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
