i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
