I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize