Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
