im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
