when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
