You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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