if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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