if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
